An end that lead to a new beginning

Many a times heard this from so many people “All well that ends well” Oh really!!! Wherever we are today one thought that just don’t leave is when is this going to end and how is it going to end? At times the whole whirlpool cycle is scary and doesn’t leave me any good. There are many sleepless nights and gloomy days that have been my pals for moments together. Have struggled myself out of the cycle but every now and then it just sucks me in.

This question kept me awake and restless. I decided to myself lets make a deal of making self resilient (huge jargon!!) Easy said than done!!!!

Started with small baby steps to get life in running gear (as if it was stopped!! – not like that) however the whole outside situation got me into a knee jerk reaction and i stopped thiking (aarrgghhh – is it really possible???) Nope- it was the downward spiral that started in the head and then started impacting everything that I did.

How did I came to terms with these testing times, staying at home, work less and clueless of how life will turn out to be!!!

I took each step cautiously. I came to understand that everything starts deep within the mental process and the mind since that is where all the games are played. Fake it till you’re made of it Or perhaps I should say that you keep telling yourself what has to be done until your mind finally gives up and starts instructing you how to be cheerful, chirpy, and normal. This motivated me to get up off my lazy back and start taking walks, albeit brief ones at first on the busy roads. The insights were humorous, and I received a few greetings and smiles in return. This excited me to take few more and few more.

When the mind became lively, it began to think positively and provided a perspective that allowed one to welcome whatever was present at the time with open arms. Acceptance boosted talks more and reconnected neural pathways for more effective relationships.

I am currently traveling in that direction. Let me break out of my rut and start relating to others with genuine enthusiasm and curiosity.

Who am I?

These days a lot of shift happening with little or no control on it. Who am i is a question that keeps haunting me time and now.

The quest to achieve seems useless when all has to go in flames or under 6 feet earth. One thought that keeps reeling on is when everything is to be left behind why collect at the very first instance. The name, fame, money riches all are just going to be in the treasure crest and I go empty handed then what am I running for, what am I chasing?

Introspective will not work, an in ward journey is what will set on the right path.

 

So let me begin the journey to the core ‘Atman’

Photo by Daniel Kux on Pexels.com

 

Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.Mark Twain

For a last few days getting into this weird feeling of being aged. What is it that I am afraid of at this point of time? The question compelled me to track down the source of fear. For past few days hearing a lot of sad demise news and that made me weary. I am weary of unaccomplished task list, friends still left to catch on, aspirations yet to be completed. This all took me to a spiraling of how much is enough and what needs to be the first in life.

Many a times I have simply overlooked on the real wishes deep in my heart and put them aside for the need of finishing the urgent.

Is it that, too much is taken on the plate most of the time. We just dont know where to stop and all that wants are tranferred in the needs bucket and then run and run to complete them. Dying without regrets is probably when you have done all that you wanted to do from the core and now has nothing that leaves you wanting for more. However this wanting needs to checked. Because the feeling of wanting itself indicates the scarceness in life and then its a spiral.

Abundance is an attitude to be developed and can happen only and only when we are ok with ourselves. Ok with the way of life, ok with what is there in life and just be there enjoying the journey rather than fretting out on what was given or received, because at the end of it nothing is left but regrets.

Its better to be off with miniscule amount or a regular car or just a small apartment rather than regretting on not having spent time with family and friends. And worse not pulling out self to do things that gives the supreme happiness and satisfaction.

Funny that. We live in islands of Hours and we never seem to have time enough for anything… Clive Barker

The other day i was lying doing nothing and was feeling so much misplaced. I stumbled upon the quote and realise all my energy was being drained due to throwing stones at every minutest disturbance that was happening in my life. How much do I get in distraction on slightest provocation. The moment the awareness came through I staryed thinking why does this happen may be because the mind is a great stealer and loves to steal what it likes. There may be goals and visions that I hold so dear but there are few chemical reactions that I dont know how to control; the emotions. Just needs a trigger to set it off and then like a chain reaction it is all over everywhere. The mind loves to play with it like the kitten with a wollen ball. The play takes me no where however I feel caressed and  entertained. And the worst part is I am not even aware of the time slip and energy drain that happens in the process.
Wake up wake up and smell the coffee!!!
The first thing i ever need to do is let go the wollen ball. Easier said than done(phewww)!!
Starting with A; build on goals that are real feasible and achievable. Yrue goals will help to focus, and it could be as simple as cleaning the house. Recognise all the matter, things documents that you no longer require or you stuffed in anticipation of needing someday.
Once identified organise it in terms of memories; whether good or bad they are just memories and provide you no further purpose. These are the hidden triggers for your emotional upsurge. Without you knowing these cause the wollen ball grow. So all those things that has no purpose to provide can be of some use to someone out there. Start donating all that can be of some use to somebody. Rest can see the bin.
This simple step has helped me a lot in de-cluttering and reducing the ball.
I started feeling lighter and on track. Not a full throttle thought however helped to ignite and be aware of energy drain. This also gave the impetus to write and sketch. This way life is more peaceful and happening rather than just passing by.

You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.” – Winston Churchill

P.S. Song from frozen just playing on my mind Let it go, let it go, let it go!!!!

“The deeper I go into myself the more I realize that I am my own enemy.” ― Floriano Martins

This is particularly that period of time when I am down in my energies and in a lull moment of the day. The weather here is also not showing any mercy with the temperatures soaring high. Should I blame it on the outside conditions to what’s happening internally, I have been ignorant of myself. All these years it was a journey from outside. I have been driven by what the others expected me of. All these years I have driven thoughts my own inklings away in the the quest of being a norm and that is what made me loner inside.

For a long time I was ignorant to myself and that cluttered my emotional compartment, it still does. Digging deep into what shaped me, my experiences with life….. good or bad.

It is nobody’s business to envisage your life then why do we give the reigns to someone who does not even know what one is up to. Stop handing over the power of your thoughts to someone who is not even a bit of your story.  Today decide for yourself how your story unfolds and give it a purpose to be lived. However only purpose is not the true manifestation of life. Life is about being playful and being there in every role of it and being completely engrossed into it. When you are completely lost at it; its the moment of discovery. The true self emerges when you forego who you are. The journey is challenging and not a quick fix one. A lot of cleansing would be required and lot to be undone.

Start with focusing on your thoughts, identify are they yours or someone else is running through your mind. If need be journal them so as to get the clarity. Identification is one step towards finding out. Thoughts and beliefs that are dysfunctional discard; that way start cleansing yourself. Cleaning takes up lot of you but at the end of it a clean slate is always good to write on. It also means relishing what you believe and living by it. Making some tough decision on the go and sticking to them.

Announcing your intentions and not setting up expectations from others is what can be done….. Easy said than done (Its still work in progress for me!) Instead start searching for answers within.

This journey is worth taking; it has made me calmer and peaceful. It has set me free from unrealistic expectations and at the same time readied me for accepting the reality.

 

I have an issue with self doubt. I started covering it up with a notion that I need to learn more things before I get into doing something. I worked hard to gather information and avoiding the action till the last minute. Finally getting exhausted with all the resisting and pushing away act. I started working by announcing my fears, my doubt to my inner circle, acknowledging my feelings and then working through them. I learnt that fears and doubts when sounded off gives me a freedom to see through and hence slackening their grip on me. It gives an immense released feeling and lightens up the heart. Acknowledging the way i feel no longer bothers me.

There comes a freedom with accepting your feelings and emotions. It’s like a release of some sort. You learn to co-exist and be okay with its presence and not allow it to control how you act and feel anymore.

So at the end remember only you can stop yourself from damaging and destroying self. Stop being your own enemy. Give yourself the love and the worth you deserve and the universe is ready with hands-full to say AMEN!!

It’s NOW!!!

The past is gone time and life that will never be rewind. What you have lived is as lived forever. Nothing can be changed about the by-gone era what holds is the future. The very future that is un-predictive and unknown. This gives an erry feeling and the mind wants to be in contentment of what it has achieved, it has done. Future is not that holds unknown, it is what is lived in present NOW. Life is not about something happening after few years, months, days, hours or moments; it is NOW.

Are you aware of this NOW in your life? Every moment is the truth and unfold the most beautiful moment to you. Are you prepared to receive it ?

Being in the moment can happen when you are conscious about yourself. Mindfulness can work only when you allow yourself to be what you are and not force on what is required. Its challenging to control the desire to be what is required as it creates a conflict between the norms and authentic. Life is happening here with you; dance with it, sing with it and love it. No meanings to be made out of it; life itself is meaningless the whole game starts when we start giving meaning to it. The trouble is when present moment shows up opposite to what you have defined and then you start making it right as per your definition.  There is always going to be what is and what is not condition if you have a set of frame to live life. The NOW moment will get obliterated in past musings or evanish in the craving of future happiness. Keep yourself here and now and life will be a canvas to paint. To be here and now start participating in your life rather than observing it from the stands, bring yourself as a player to life and accept the rules of games. No strings attached to the winning or the losing of the game whats important is to feel, love and play the game. Even when the playground is not set the rules remain the same. Even when there is no option you still have a choice; a choice of being in the game or opting out of it. However once the choice is made there is no option.

Let the game begin the Game of Now; be in the playfullness and see how it unfolds the essence to you. Its a beautiful inkling of being here right now at this moment.  So live on to what could be your fullest  you and see how the world beholds your wishes to be what you are. The universe is here right now waiting for your to give what you ask for, all you have to do is ask at this moment.

From this moment on you have the power to change, from this moment on you have the freedom to love, from this moment on you have free will to forgive and from this moment on you have privilege to live.

Walk the Path

“niyatam kuru karma tvam
karma jyayo hy akarmanah
sarira-yatrapi ca te
na prasiddhyed akarmanah”

Perform your prescribed duty, for action is better than inaction. A man cannot even maintain his physical body without work.

We all our bound by a purpose and that’s our prakriti, if we try to renounce the purpose we will not attain the ultimate salvation.

What is the ultimate realization for any of us? Being in service and making life a better place to be is the goal of every being on this earth.

However what do we do when faced with uncertainties and failure, we leave our karyakshetra and get into inaction. The balances tilt from cursing the fate to resigning to do the same action over and over again. In both the way there is an inaction, Inaction in thoughts (Mansa) would lead to inaction in speech (Vacha) and actions (Kaya). The three when not in action is a dead being. We cannot be inaction for a single moment, even our physical body involuntary of us in action. When our prakriti itself is to be in action can’t we be in a conscious awareness of our actions all three of them.

Goals gives us the way to lead the path and get our movement right, however if goals are not aligned to our purpose in life we are led by it and not in a leading position.

Leading happens when I take the responsibilities of not just the results but my actions too.

 The world follows every great soul who took the responsibilities of his own actions and if the actions are not aligned to the purpose then the benchmarks are disgraceful. For you to be a leader there is no necessity of believers behind you. What’s important is your own belief in your action and the alignment to the purpose.

Do you believe in yourself is the question, this belief then propels you to act.

Failures and falls are the element of boulevard that you have chosen to walk on, walk you must that’s the prakriti and one who walks selflessly attains the ultimate destination.

So come what may you must walk the path because inaction is unnatural and without it even the physical body cannot sustain.

The black hole

At times when nothing comes to you. It seems to be the end of the world however the world still continues to be what it is. No idea, no process and simply no liveliness. Even no question as to What to do? Every single routine is on every single task is done but you are in an auto mode or in a zombie mode. I am currently in one of those zombie modes whom do I put blame on the stagnated routine, dull day, or simply put on unbalancing hormonal phase. Whatever is the reason the first question that I asked myself was can I continue being zombied and the spontaneous reply was I can’t afford. There is a family expecting good hearty conversations, friends waiting to say hello what’s up, work waiting for instructions to move ahead and yes above all I waiting to be chirpy and alive. I just remembered Bob Proctor nd his sub conscious mind video of how we can detach from what we are feeling and impress a new idea onto our sub conscious mind. Started being aware of what I am feeling and then choosing the positive spin to impress myself. The best way to do was dress vibrantly and feel great about it. Self compliment and appreciation did magic. I dressed for myself and gave few flying kisses in mirror too. Oh wow I am beautiful and that wove the magic, the body started pushing through and the aware mind had to accept it
Self love created a whole new array of self appreciation and this turned the wheel to find beauty in a long drain routine work day and people. I was a tuning fork for nice things and resonated with vibrations the frequency matched and had nice things happening to me.
The spin was complete when gratitude started flowing in and through me. A small thank you to yourself first makes a lot of difference in own world.
It’s not that life will never throw me in a black hole again but I now know how to come out of it and that too without knowing how to drive a spaceship
Amazing is the connect of mind and body and simple are the ways to connect.
Are you being sucked in the black hole and wishing for a wormhole to take you to different Galaxy, search no outside as the interstellar journey is intrinsic and starts from within.
Happy space and happy journey.

At the end life is ok

When i throw a stone in a still lake it creates ripple for some time. If you want to see a reflection in that water its difficult to figure out whats the object. Its challenging to really find out what is getting reflected in rippled water. So what to do if i want to see a clear reflection. I give time to water to settle.

Then why is it thay i don’t give time to myself when everything is whizzy, topsy turvy. I don’t want to let go the control. What happens when i resist it persist and further irritates me. The reflection i see all around is irritated, angry people gone to an extent of being indifferent. To be peacefule you don’t work around the situation you work around the time. Give time the time to settle and get back to stillness. In those times of whirlpooling what you do is nothing , best time to be what you are and connect inner self. The okness leads to acceptance and into silencing clutter. When silence happens inside every how hets unfold in our lives. And the how is the way forward that leads to what next. To have the end at the end one needs to give time and thats when you silence. When one of my closed ones was diagnosed with cancer i said to myself i am ok and even the dear one is ok. That okness did not mean that i was not anxious, fearful and worried however the okness silenced me up nd lead me to what because how to deal with it just unfolded and at the end everything was ok

So at the end life turns out to be ok. So if you are not ok with it, its not the end.

 

 

You are the CAM

No words getting thru today, life seem to be just stopped without a notice. That exactly what happens life happens without notice. We are so much into the nitty grities of life nd all that is important gets lost in the routine. Its only when someone who is omnipresent pulls our strings nd we realise its a stage and every actor has to exit at some point of time. Exit is the hardest thing to accept and if its sudden without a notice its more challenging to go thru.

We are just there on stage without being consciously aware of it nd start putting up an illusionory imagery and start owning it up.

At curtains down we start screaminvof not living not being alive, reason just waiting for the right moment, the perfect thing in life the best part to come.

Lets just start living and not wanting to live. Be alive with life and not a live life. The best picture perfect memories can never be captured in high end cam, they ate always there as experience that mind lives everyday.

You are the camera start capturing the cherished experience every moment before the batteries die.

Happy capturing, happy living.