“The deeper I go into myself the more I realize that I am my own enemy.” ― Floriano Martins

This is particularly that period of time when I am down in my energies and in a lull moment of the day. The weather here is also not showing any mercy with the temperatures soaring high. Should I blame it on the outside conditions to what’s happening internally, I have been ignorant of myself. All these years it was a journey from outside. I have been driven by what the others expected me of. All these years I have driven thoughts my own inklings away in the the quest of being a norm and that is what made me loner inside.

For a long time I was ignorant to myself and that cluttered my emotional compartment, it still does. Digging deep into what shaped me, my experiences with life….. good or bad.

It is nobody’s business to envisage your life then why do we give the reigns to someone who does not even know what one is up to. Stop handing over the power of your thoughts to someone who is not even a bit of your story.  Today decide for yourself how your story unfolds and give it a purpose to be lived. However only purpose is not the true manifestation of life. Life is about being playful and being there in every role of it and being completely engrossed into it. When you are completely lost at it; its the moment of discovery. The true self emerges when you forego who you are. The journey is challenging and not a quick fix one. A lot of cleansing would be required and lot to be undone.

Start with focusing on your thoughts, identify are they yours or someone else is running through your mind. If need be journal them so as to get the clarity. Identification is one step towards finding out. Thoughts and beliefs that are dysfunctional discard; that way start cleansing yourself. Cleaning takes up lot of you but at the end of it a clean slate is always good to write on. It also means relishing what you believe and living by it. Making some tough decision on the go and sticking to them.

Announcing your intentions and not setting up expectations from others is what can be done….. Easy said than done (Its still work in progress for me!) Instead start searching for answers within.

This journey is worth taking; it has made me calmer and peaceful. It has set me free from unrealistic expectations and at the same time readied me for accepting the reality.

 

I have an issue with self doubt. I started covering it up with a notion that I need to learn more things before I get into doing something. I worked hard to gather information and avoiding the action till the last minute. Finally getting exhausted with all the resisting and pushing away act. I started working by announcing my fears, my doubt to my inner circle, acknowledging my feelings and then working through them. I learnt that fears and doubts when sounded off gives me a freedom to see through and hence slackening their grip on me. It gives an immense released feeling and lightens up the heart. Acknowledging the way i feel no longer bothers me.

There comes a freedom with accepting your feelings and emotions. It’s like a release of some sort. You learn to co-exist and be okay with its presence and not allow it to control how you act and feel anymore.

So at the end remember only you can stop yourself from damaging and destroying self. Stop being your own enemy. Give yourself the love and the worth you deserve and the universe is ready with hands-full to say AMEN!!

Just Drop it!!

What happens if I drop an egg on the floor? I know its a silly question and the answer is simple it will break into pieces. It will drop into something that cannot be rebuilt again as same egg, however will it still hold the possibility of been build into something else?
I am tossing this question to everyone, please comment, suggest or criticize it, I am doing the same I am toying with this question too….. Lets check out whether we can really build up something out of completely broken thing???

 

Service Devotion

Each one of us wants to become a satisfied in life, The question is how to attain this in this very present life. A little deep thinking and i could get that there is an innate need of helping someone to do a great job or good work or give back to the universe that has been abundant in its blessing.

This need of being of some worth always throw up choices in our life and thats when we need to understand that unless we answer the purpose of our life we have not lived our purpose. To get the ultimate satisfaction of our work we need to keep aside the logic, reasons and the pros & cons and just do it for the betterment of society, life or universe.

yas tv indriyäëi manasä niyamyärabhate ’rjuna
karmendriyaiù karma-yogam asaktaù sa viçiñyate

Meaning : If a sincere person tries to control the active senses by the mind and begins karma-yoga without attachment,he is by far superior.

Bhagwad Gita Chapter 3 Verse – 7

Well not at all want to propagate this but when i dwell on this verse there was a lot to it

If we check our leaders or people who has always striven to help out people, from ancient leaders to the modern day leaders; who changed the rules, each one of them has tried to make this world a better place to live in.

Is this possible in the cut throat competition where performances and appraisals, competitiveness and survival of the fittest are the rules of the game. This is where the humane touch differentiates the best from the good.

Let try and create meaning to our life, as rightly said lets be sincere in our giving and the joy will automatically find a place in our lives.

Discipline

Happy and Prosperous New Year!

First of apologies for being absent from here for a quite a long time.

Why discipline and that too at the very start of the year. Well all of you must have written great resolutions on all possible fancy diaries and then WHAT NEXT!! Have you started implementing it. Well this very experience of mine inspired me to write about it today. I am no different from the world so I too have a great resolution for this year. This year I am going to LIVE!!! Phew!!!!!!!! Quiet a challenging one because in day in day out we are lead by to-do list and not by the goals. The real conflict comes when to-do list is not aligned with the goals.Let me make it simple for you, what is a goal – dream with a deadline! Now if you have a deadline then you need to take action on it. Taking action calls for doing and doing is discipline.

This word is very small but has a lot of connotation to it. A little deeper thought and you’ll realize that discipline is not just about meeting deadlines. Discipline is about being aware of what it takes for it to get done. When every action of yours is in line with your goal you are disciplined. It is not just restricted to your action but extends to your words too. I will do it is a commitment given not to others but to yourself even if it is not spelled out loud it will be there in your space. Why only words, your thoughts are the first step of action and are you disciplined enough that your thoughts are in-line with your vision of tomorrow. There is an Italian proverb that Between saying and doing, many a pair of shoes is worn out. Discipline is that small act that you would do every second, every inch of it, in fact discipline should be way of life and not a way in life. Success comes to only those who desire but as said by Frank Herbert – “Seek freedom and become captive of your desires, seek discipline and find your liberty” Discipline liberates you from unwanted thoughts and actions and always focuses you on your goals. Ultimately goals achieved is success attained.

So Happy Resolving successful year ahead!

“CIAO”

Take a break – Get a Nap

In the crazy process of achieving goals many a times one thing is ignored and that is a Break.  Every machine requires a overhauling and this is important for the well – running of the machine. We human are the most wonderful machine created by the creator (apologies for addressing as machine).

Have you ever wondered how bad you treat yourself and with least or no respect for the beautiful creation that is you. With continuous and rigorous working style you forget to overhaul the body. Now many of you would be saying we do take rest. Well just one question do you really take rest or just sink in the sack because the official working hours are over. This takes a toll on health and it is reflecting with rise of lifestyle disorders at a very early age. The very recent example of Ranjan Das CEo & MD of SAP passing at the age of 42 yrs. Though Das was fitness freak and was hard-working, he believed that he needed only four hours of sleep a day to keep him fit and fresh. Well that is absolutely disagreeing and denying the need of overhaul. The kind of stress that surmounted due to lack of sleep resulted in a fatal heart attack.

Take it easy guys; stress can create havoc beyond imagination. Many a times we are oblivious to the fact that we are in stress; check out for the indications:

• Are you heated up, or reacts in an agitated mode more or less on impulse or you cannot sit calmly for a long time.
• Do you feel withdrawn and shut down, or you feel just disconnected?
• Or its both you are disconnected and frozen on the surface but inside you are extremely agitated with the overall circumstances but simply can’t get it out.

Take a minute and look out for your responses in normal incidences where you might have not acted in composed way even though it was not called for to act the other way. Stress is very silent destroyer and we all know that still we act as if it will not happen to us. Take a breather and check out your sleeping patterns, if you are not sleeping well or suffering from shallow sleep or breathing pattern then probable chances are you are not getting restorative sleep that is very much important.

Soothe yourself with thought that life is not going to be fair all the time and its absolutely passable if you don’t get 100% all the time.

One of the ways to work towards a deep sleep could be meditating for 10-15 minutes in a day. Meditation helps to focus on building your inner-self and one of the easiest ways to rejuvenate yourself and gain the peace.

When you meditate just before sleeping you forego all the god-bad, positive-negative, easy-stressful thoughts, you learn to let-go the occurrences and experiences and this liberates you from the guilt and the pressure of performance. Meditation helps you to accept the outcome as well helps you to rebuild your mind. It connects you with your inner-self and gives the peace that is so very required for a deep sleep.

For that enduring mind –

All of us are very much concerned with physical endurance and spend time efforts and money on building it but when it comes to mental strength it needs little different kind of treatment all together. One should throw out or simply avoid having great days ahead.

Let’s see what should not go in to have a great enduring mind, avoid these and build on your mental endurance.

1. Stop feeling sorry: Wasting time on feeling sorry about how people, circumstances and situations treated you. Life is all about moving on so start taking up responsibility for your actions and outcomes. Accept the fact that life not going to be fair all the time. Simply get up and get ready for the “Next”!
2. Stop being powerless: The moment you accept the derogative feedback from people you have given them the permission to drain your energy. No one can make you feel inferior or bad without your permission, understand that you are in control of your actions and emotions and respond the way you want.
3. Stop running & start confronting: The biggest limitation is not in the outside world but in your fears; fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of unknown. The best way to overcome your fear is to come in glare and confront. The moment you stop running and look through it the fear dissolves and gives the power.
4.  Stop wasting: Stop wasting your energy by not cribbing about bad traffic, bad weather, terrible system and all those things that are not in your control. Remember you can influence people and not control them so stop wasting your energy on trying to manipulate as per your way. One thing that is in your control in a bad situation is your own response and attitude towards it.
5. Stop dwelling in past: The glory of old days or the misery of history is all by-gone. Instead utilize your energy in building present and future.
6. Don’t give up after a dismal outcome: The grit and the consistency is what make normal being a true champion. Every failure is a chance to improve. Success is not about having it all but being better that what it was yesterday. Enduring people are willing to fail again and again if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.
7. Stop repeating same mistake: If you are not learning from your past and altering your behavior and actions then the outcomes would not change for any umpteen numbers of attempts. Stop repeating over again and again and expecting a different result altogether.
8. Welcome change with a smile: Only one thing inevitable is change and change is life. Accept the fact and start working towards your adaptability to change. The faster you adapt the better for you as it saves lot of stress that arise due to the resistance you put to change.
9. Be with yourself: Spend good amount of time with yourself and thoughts. Use your downtime in to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, create a space where you can be happy all by yourself and not depend on people for your mood and happiness.
10. Give a breather for plans to cook up: Plans will take some time to give the desired recipe, a healthy lifestyle plan, starting up a venture will give its result but the big question is are you in it for a long haul? Instead of expecting an immediate result channelize your energies in measured doses and time and celebrate

Enduring people have “being power” and accept the fact that genuine changes take time. Do you have mental endurance? I am going to reinforce each of them a little more today what about you?

Building yourself – Step by Step

Building yourself over a lifespan is important and yes at times overwhelming too. So why not chunk it off and start working on one step at a time.

1.  Start doing the little things you already know you should do. You are aware of many things that you should be doing to, improve your performance in exams, get that coveted appointment letter, work towards better relationships, and be more responsible. So start doing them right away, right now. There is no wrong time for the doing the right things.

2.  Become a keen observer of others. If your friend scores better grade than yours or he is selected for a challenging role, identify the reasons. If you are impressed by a service in a mall or restaurant, think about what this person did that impressed you. When you are drawn to someone, ask yourself why. When you begin to trust someone, pinpoint the reasons. There is a lot you can learn by watching others.

3.  Start living in a state of awareness. We do things unconsciously and this is because most of the time we are on autopilot. Switch off the autopilot and observe your action throughout the day. Be conscious about your actions and start making conscious decisions as you move through your day, especially when interacting with other people. Positive change begins with awareness.

4.  Become a student of personal and professional success. If you have a genuine desire to improve yourself, start reading content on various subject of interest.  Be a learner throughout your life. there are so many subjects and vast ocean of knowledge is out there to be explored. Remember every learning curve will give you new insights to your personality and thus make you a champion of life.

5.  Be intentional every day. Success does not come by chance it requires lot of small target efforts. Similarly getting better won’t come without effort. While some of the things will come naturally to you, others will require an intentional effort. Walk an extra mile day in day out for that extra effort needed to make a better successful you.

The best thing about building yourself that you can acquire new skills regardless of your background, gender or education, developing yourself will make you stand out from the crowd in whatever you choose to do.

The time you spend developing yourself will never be wasted. Even if you change careers as many times, the skills you learn today can always be used to set you apart in whatever you do with your life

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Am I good Enough?

Am I good Enough?.

Am I good Enough?

How many times you have asked this question Am I good enough? Well this is the tab that we put on us and stop ourselves from being what we want to be.

The real stress happens when we are not what we want to be and keep on demoralizing ourselves by stating “I am not getting through because I am not good enough!” The first thing you should do is accept yourself the way you are. Only when you start loving yourself unconditionally you’ll be able to accept yourself. Accepting is the first step towards growth. When you accept yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses you understand your current position. This will become your start point on the path of self growth. The moment understanding happens confusion about what needs to be done subsides and action planning is easy. As said in my earlier post you don’t have to really wear out yourself on your weaknesses but start intensifying your strength. This will give you the verve and energy to the growth process that is necessary at the initial stage.

I know unconditional love is pretty difficult to find but one person who should be loved purely is you and start doing it right away. To assert your love start affirming yourself by saying “I feel good about myself”. Believe me it’s not that difficult. As said by Swami Vivekanand – Talk to yourself at least once in a day, otherwise you may miss meeting an excellent person in this world. Affirmations work wonders only when you are convinced and believed them truly.

The world is full of competition and there is a mad rush to prove that we are the best but ever thought we are so engrossed in proving the world that we are great that we forget to re-affirm ourselves about the goodness we have and then starts the downward spiraling of our morale. It’s fine to lose few races and it’s absolutely acceptable to fail in some of the tests, these failures and losing will never erase the goodness you have. You are born with a unique purpose and the moment you realize the purpose you transcend from good to great.

Don’t get beaten on your journey in this universe by a perception that you were not able to make a large difference to it. If the world becomes slightly better than what it was before you walked you have created a mark in the universe. You are really good enough to create that mark in your universe, so what are you waiting for go and reclaim your position in your universe.

Start saying to yourself I really feel good about myself!

 

CHANGE! Only a wet baby asks for it.

What happens when all of a sudden you wake up one morning and realize that you are no more in your comfortable home, the city where you are traveling is strange and you don’t know which way to go? It sounds as if you are watching a thriller and it’s a nightmare, so the best way is not imagine. Well imagination is in your control but at times circumstances would not be in your control and you might be forced to get into a situation that may not be same as described above but definitely terrifying.

That’s CHANGE and the most inevitable thing in this world.

Then what to do in times of change well I would say you should be always be ready for change. Easier said than done! Because once we start achieving what we aim for we start settling in life. That’s what each one of us wants to get settled in life and lead a peaceful life. The problem starts when we start getting comfortable in our skin.

The moment complacency creeps in we become inattentive to small goings-on that may not impact immediately but over a period of time it definitely makes a huge difference. What do we do at that time of impact we get surprised by the occurrences and then keep on asking ourselves how come I was not able see what was coming to me? The reason is we are so much engrossed in the comforts of being what is there that we fall in a trap called placate zone.

It’s good to feel comfortable in what you are doing but always be alert and aware of the environment. Keep tag on the day to day occurrences around you. These would give the feel of the environment and help you in adapting to change. Yes the best change management technique is to adapt to change. Yeah  it’s difficult to adapt when you are comfortably tugged under the warmth of daily routine but remember change will happen even when you are not seeking it nor looking for it.

So the best way is to keep on changing!!

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. Alan Watts