Discipline

Happy and Prosperous New Year!

First of apologies for being absent from here for a quite a long time.

Why discipline and that too at the very start of the year. Well all of you must have written great resolutions on all possible fancy diaries and then WHAT NEXT!! Have you started implementing it. Well this very experience of mine inspired me to write about it today. I am no different from the world so I too have a great resolution for this year. This year I am going to LIVE!!! Phew!!!!!!!! Quiet a challenging one because in day in day out we are lead by to-do list and not by the goals. The real conflict comes when to-do list is not aligned with the goals.Let me make it simple for you, what is a goal – dream with a deadline! Now if you have a deadline then you need to take action on it. Taking action calls for doing and doing is discipline.

This word is very small but has a lot of connotation to it. A little deeper thought and you’ll realize that discipline is not just about meeting deadlines. Discipline is about being aware of what it takes for it to get done. When every action of yours is in line with your goal you are disciplined. It is not just restricted to your action but extends to your words too. I will do it is a commitment given not to others but to yourself even if it is not spelled out loud it will be there in your space. Why only words, your thoughts are the first step of action and are you disciplined enough that your thoughts are in-line with your vision of tomorrow. There is an Italian proverb that Between saying and doing, many a pair of shoes is worn out. Discipline is that small act that you would do every second, every inch of it, in fact discipline should be way of life and not a way in life. Success comes to only those who desire but as said by Frank Herbert – “Seek freedom and become captive of your desires, seek discipline and find your liberty” Discipline liberates you from unwanted thoughts and actions and always focuses you on your goals. Ultimately goals achieved is success attained.

So Happy Resolving successful year ahead!

“CIAO”

For that enduring mind –

All of us are very much concerned with physical endurance and spend time efforts and money on building it but when it comes to mental strength it needs little different kind of treatment all together. One should throw out or simply avoid having great days ahead.

Let’s see what should not go in to have a great enduring mind, avoid these and build on your mental endurance.

1. Stop feeling sorry: Wasting time on feeling sorry about how people, circumstances and situations treated you. Life is all about moving on so start taking up responsibility for your actions and outcomes. Accept the fact that life not going to be fair all the time. Simply get up and get ready for the “Next”!
2. Stop being powerless: The moment you accept the derogative feedback from people you have given them the permission to drain your energy. No one can make you feel inferior or bad without your permission, understand that you are in control of your actions and emotions and respond the way you want.
3. Stop running & start confronting: The biggest limitation is not in the outside world but in your fears; fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of unknown. The best way to overcome your fear is to come in glare and confront. The moment you stop running and look through it the fear dissolves and gives the power.
4.  Stop wasting: Stop wasting your energy by not cribbing about bad traffic, bad weather, terrible system and all those things that are not in your control. Remember you can influence people and not control them so stop wasting your energy on trying to manipulate as per your way. One thing that is in your control in a bad situation is your own response and attitude towards it.
5. Stop dwelling in past: The glory of old days or the misery of history is all by-gone. Instead utilize your energy in building present and future.
6. Don’t give up after a dismal outcome: The grit and the consistency is what make normal being a true champion. Every failure is a chance to improve. Success is not about having it all but being better that what it was yesterday. Enduring people are willing to fail again and again if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.
7. Stop repeating same mistake: If you are not learning from your past and altering your behavior and actions then the outcomes would not change for any umpteen numbers of attempts. Stop repeating over again and again and expecting a different result altogether.
8. Welcome change with a smile: Only one thing inevitable is change and change is life. Accept the fact and start working towards your adaptability to change. The faster you adapt the better for you as it saves lot of stress that arise due to the resistance you put to change.
9. Be with yourself: Spend good amount of time with yourself and thoughts. Use your downtime in to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, create a space where you can be happy all by yourself and not depend on people for your mood and happiness.
10. Give a breather for plans to cook up: Plans will take some time to give the desired recipe, a healthy lifestyle plan, starting up a venture will give its result but the big question is are you in it for a long haul? Instead of expecting an immediate result channelize your energies in measured doses and time and celebrate

Enduring people have “being power” and accept the fact that genuine changes take time. Do you have mental endurance? I am going to reinforce each of them a little more today what about you?

Time Management – Keep it simple sincere!

How many times have you felt that things are not moving the way you planned or expected them to work out? Are you hard-pressed by these feelings?

1. I have to always rush!
2. I have little time to spend with family.
3. I am doing too many things at one time.
4. It’s difficult to set routine for an exercise regime.
5. I have no time for a nice peaceful holiday.
6. My food habits are not healthy.

Well a very classic case of everybody’s day in day out routine. Even I am pressed down with these statements. And the irony is how much planning I do it simply does not work out on a longer term and I am back to the square one.

How to break the cacophony and really get going is what we need to look for. For past few months I have started practicing few simple steps that I am going to share here.

The first stage is KISS – Keep it simple sincere; yes I have stopped thinking of too farther goal. I know you would be saying one should plan for 15 years down the line and it’s always good to know your destination. To which I would say if I am doing sincere work that is aligned with my interest and doing it precisely today, over the years I would reach where I wish to see myself.

This brings to the second step- Keep on doing it; yes persistency and grit of doing the same thing day in day out reduces lot of anxiety that arises due to constant alteration of plans. So I have decided to do one thing at a time.

That means no multitasking when I am on to do list. So the mails and whatsapp get switched off when I am thinking or designing a session. This helps to work with alacrity and gives satisfying outcome. So one thing at a time is key to get through at a faster pace than distracting yourself and still hanging on with sense of incompletion.

The sense of completion gives a rapturous  high and I am with myself. This very experience gives lot of comfort and a peaceful inner-self. The silence inside reflects in the outside world and impulsive reaction reduces. This improves relationships around and I have a real good time will friends and family.

Time management is not about planning and working it out but following simple rules that works for me. Keeping it simple and sincere really made huge difference and this might help you too.

Keep enjoying your work and your life!

Building yourself – Step by Step

Building yourself over a lifespan is important and yes at times overwhelming too. So why not chunk it off and start working on one step at a time.

1.  Start doing the little things you already know you should do. You are aware of many things that you should be doing to, improve your performance in exams, get that coveted appointment letter, work towards better relationships, and be more responsible. So start doing them right away, right now. There is no wrong time for the doing the right things.

2.  Become a keen observer of others. If your friend scores better grade than yours or he is selected for a challenging role, identify the reasons. If you are impressed by a service in a mall or restaurant, think about what this person did that impressed you. When you are drawn to someone, ask yourself why. When you begin to trust someone, pinpoint the reasons. There is a lot you can learn by watching others.

3.  Start living in a state of awareness. We do things unconsciously and this is because most of the time we are on autopilot. Switch off the autopilot and observe your action throughout the day. Be conscious about your actions and start making conscious decisions as you move through your day, especially when interacting with other people. Positive change begins with awareness.

4.  Become a student of personal and professional success. If you have a genuine desire to improve yourself, start reading content on various subject of interest.  Be a learner throughout your life. there are so many subjects and vast ocean of knowledge is out there to be explored. Remember every learning curve will give you new insights to your personality and thus make you a champion of life.

5.  Be intentional every day. Success does not come by chance it requires lot of small target efforts. Similarly getting better won’t come without effort. While some of the things will come naturally to you, others will require an intentional effort. Walk an extra mile day in day out for that extra effort needed to make a better successful you.

The best thing about building yourself that you can acquire new skills regardless of your background, gender or education, developing yourself will make you stand out from the crowd in whatever you choose to do.

The time you spend developing yourself will never be wasted. Even if you change careers as many times, the skills you learn today can always be used to set you apart in whatever you do with your life

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Reclaim Yourself

Self-worth is about how you value yourself. To develop worth you need to know what are your strengths and competencies that you possess which can be really contributing to your work. Analyse yourself: What are your talents? List at least 5. What are your skills? Remember skills need to be worked on to perfect them.

Overcome the fear of self-love. Healthy self-love is about being your own best friend and it is about treating yourself with same care, generosity, tolerance and compassion as you would treat a special friend.

Keep a watch on attitude toward yourself. How do you perceive yourself and what you talk about yourself is a deciding factor of self-worth.

Define success for yourself. One of the empowering things you can do is you can define your success criteria. This would require reflecting on things and means that brings real happiness to you.

Challenge yourself with better goals. People who set challenging goals and achieve them are the ones who are held high.

Live by vision and work with purpose. Nothing is draining than an effort without a real reason for it. Find out your calling and work to fulfill it. This will give a high for the lifetime and you will be the energy house.

Reward yourself often. It’s not just the success that’s worth rewarding but a striving effort to achieve a challenging goal is worth appreciating.

Learn to differentiate between self-worth and net worth. Net worth is a mathematical calculation and the difference between assets and liabilities. We live in a world where net worth is often blended with self worth when people ask question so what do you do? There are many layers to it but often people expect us to tell what we do for a living.

Self worth is your inner strength and confidence that would reflect the world outside. The higher it is the better life would seem to be.

Go ahead and start loving yourself for a better fulfilling, satisfied, successful and a peaceful life.

Am I good Enough?

How many times you have asked this question Am I good enough? Well this is the tab that we put on us and stop ourselves from being what we want to be.

The real stress happens when we are not what we want to be and keep on demoralizing ourselves by stating “I am not getting through because I am not good enough!” The first thing you should do is accept yourself the way you are. Only when you start loving yourself unconditionally you’ll be able to accept yourself. Accepting is the first step towards growth. When you accept yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses you understand your current position. This will become your start point on the path of self growth. The moment understanding happens confusion about what needs to be done subsides and action planning is easy. As said in my earlier post you don’t have to really wear out yourself on your weaknesses but start intensifying your strength. This will give you the verve and energy to the growth process that is necessary at the initial stage.

I know unconditional love is pretty difficult to find but one person who should be loved purely is you and start doing it right away. To assert your love start affirming yourself by saying “I feel good about myself”. Believe me it’s not that difficult. As said by Swami Vivekanand – Talk to yourself at least once in a day, otherwise you may miss meeting an excellent person in this world. Affirmations work wonders only when you are convinced and believed them truly.

The world is full of competition and there is a mad rush to prove that we are the best but ever thought we are so engrossed in proving the world that we are great that we forget to re-affirm ourselves about the goodness we have and then starts the downward spiraling of our morale. It’s fine to lose few races and it’s absolutely acceptable to fail in some of the tests, these failures and losing will never erase the goodness you have. You are born with a unique purpose and the moment you realize the purpose you transcend from good to great.

Don’t get beaten on your journey in this universe by a perception that you were not able to make a large difference to it. If the world becomes slightly better than what it was before you walked you have created a mark in the universe. You are really good enough to create that mark in your universe, so what are you waiting for go and reclaim your position in your universe.

Start saying to yourself I really feel good about myself!

 

CHANGE! Only a wet baby asks for it.

What happens when all of a sudden you wake up one morning and realize that you are no more in your comfortable home, the city where you are traveling is strange and you don’t know which way to go? It sounds as if you are watching a thriller and it’s a nightmare, so the best way is not imagine. Well imagination is in your control but at times circumstances would not be in your control and you might be forced to get into a situation that may not be same as described above but definitely terrifying.

That’s CHANGE and the most inevitable thing in this world.

Then what to do in times of change well I would say you should be always be ready for change. Easier said than done! Because once we start achieving what we aim for we start settling in life. That’s what each one of us wants to get settled in life and lead a peaceful life. The problem starts when we start getting comfortable in our skin.

The moment complacency creeps in we become inattentive to small goings-on that may not impact immediately but over a period of time it definitely makes a huge difference. What do we do at that time of impact we get surprised by the occurrences and then keep on asking ourselves how come I was not able see what was coming to me? The reason is we are so much engrossed in the comforts of being what is there that we fall in a trap called placate zone.

It’s good to feel comfortable in what you are doing but always be alert and aware of the environment. Keep tag on the day to day occurrences around you. These would give the feel of the environment and help you in adapting to change. Yes the best change management technique is to adapt to change. Yeah  it’s difficult to adapt when you are comfortably tugged under the warmth of daily routine but remember change will happen even when you are not seeking it nor looking for it.

So the best way is to keep on changing!!

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. Alan Watts

Communication skills – defining your long term success!!

Your success as a professional will be limitless or limited based on the quality of your communication skills. Being a great communicator, in your own authentic way will define your long term career success. But all of us including me take communication for granted.

A great communication is more than being able to talk to people and send nice emails. Communication is all about understanding different styles and methods. It is about adapting your approach with each person in each situation to get the best results. The ability to adapt your style of communication is real skill to be learnt.

Learning this skill empower you to communicate and build relations that gives the best results. The better you can communicate the farther you go.

When we say ‘communicate’ what comes to our mind are the images of mobile phones, facebook, emails, meetings, conferences, conversation at coffee vending machines, small talk, etc….

So mastering the skill also means you have to become savvy in using the different methods of communication. You will have to be aware of nonverbal signs, body language and listening which is an integral part of communication.

The act of communicating involves 3 components verbal, para-verbal and nonverbal.

1. Verbal refers to content of the message, the words we choose.
2. Para verbal refers to how we say what we say, the tone, the voice, pacing and pitch.
3. Nonverbal refers to the message that we send through our expressions, postures, gestures – body language.

In order to communicate effectively we must use all three components and do two things:

Send clear concise message.

Hear and correctly understand the message sent to us.

When you communicate effectively using all the three components and achieving the two objectives you create healthy relationship within the spectrum of business. The success of business rests on the communication that happens amongst employees, clients, vendors and other parties that generate impact directly or indirectly.

A good communicator is highly motivated individual who always gives importance to goals and achieves them in the most efficient manner.

One requires communication not just professionally but also in relationships to get the best out of life. And communication act as stepping stone for success in life.

Soft Skills – Far Beyond Career!

Soft skills are important in all aspect of life – far beyond career. Developing soft skill will help you in various ways. You will have better control on your emotions and thus relationship with your parents, friends, peers and seniors will deepen further. You will attract positive minded people into your life and this will help in overcoming obstacles due to their powerful positive vibes and motivation. You will be successful in achieving goals and thus will gain people’s respect and admiration. You will become a role model for others, and demonstrate them how they can be more successful. You will have better control on your events and incidents in your life and will have a satisfactory feeling that you have more control of your life.

In addition to the long list of ways your life will be enhanced, you will be making this world a better place.

Knowing Yourself: To be successful a person should be aware of his/her capabilities and limitations. Your success is heavily influenced by your level of self awareness. The more self aware you are, the better you will:

• Have the confidence to do what is required for success.
• Adapt to changes and handle situations in life.
• Communicate with all sorts of people at different levels.
• Receive criticism and feedback and work on improving yourself.

Knowing about yourself also helps you to sharpen your edge, as it helps you to learn new skills in a better way and develop the personality.

What is self awareness? Self awareness is having a clear perception of your personality including your strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, emotions and motivations.

How to develop? Self awareness as discussed is a clear idea of self, hence reading a book would not help you in developing yours. Developing self awareness is like learning to drive a car. You have to be aware of steering, gear, brakes, speed, road, directions, pedestrians etc…. Self awareness isn’t learnt from book, driving isn’t either.

One of the techniques to be self aware is to become observant about thoughts and small triggers that build up your emotions.

Question yourself about your strength, talents and passion. Take time out to answer what are your values, beliefs, and vision about your future. How often you do this is not important as long as it is regular enough for you to feel like you are in the driver seat of your career.

The Nav-rasas (Nine Elements) for Success

The Nav-rasas (Nine Elements) for Success:

Life is a rich fabric that gets color and texture from the instances and circumstances that occurs day in day out. The humdrum routine that characterizes everyday or the amazing, astounding and surprises that life sprung occasionally that make and keep our lives interesting are all threads that are woven together to form this tapestry.

However there is one thing common to every fabric of human life the fact that these occurrences evoke feelings in us, we respond to them with our emotions before they can become a part of our internal life. Indeed, life can be thought of as a continuous sequence of emotions that arise in various contexts and circumstances. These emotions, or rasas, are what give life different hues, shades and colors. How do these relate to the achieving the success in life?

1. Shringar: means love with an extended meaning of devotion, if we don’t love what we do and do what we love with bursting devotion success will always be half baked.
2. Hasya: If we don’t derive joy from the process how are we going to stay on our path during the testing times? A little humor adds color to life and to the humdrum struggle of achieving goals. One also has to take sarcasm with a pinch of sugar and let go it with a smile.
3. Bhaya: This rasa can pull us down and deflect us from our path of efforts. If we don’t implement governance for this rasa it can crush us completely with its strength. That’s the power of Bhaya.
4. Bhibitsya: Bhaya not controlled and managed at the right time can spiral us towards the feeling of Bhibitsya (disgust). Many a time fear does not allow us to take that risk or the first step, inaction leads to no change in the circumstances and then we are disaster-prone. This kind of state of affairs then pirouette to the higher level of emotions that is depression and self-pity. We have to be aware of the emotions as they are fatal for success.
5. Roudra: When things go against our expectations, we don’t get the solutions to our problems we get irritated and stress. Thought the condition is not alarming but neither easy-going. Today most of us are in our Roudra-Roop (anger-altered state of mind). We fret over small issues; we get angry over minuscule things. Consciously or unnoticeable we are using this rasa to the hilt and look what we have done to ourselves. Suffering heart-attacks and other lifestyle disorders at a very young age, inflicting pain to ourselves or to others. Yes, agreed the journey is challenging, difficulty, irritating and at times really very stressful but we all have the capacity to raise above all odds and make life phenomenal.
6. Veera: A timorous being can also be champion. All it takes is a snap of moment and the right dose of Veera Rasa. Veera is heroism, confidence and courage personified. We have read and had been witness to many stupendous deeds of human being who by nature was coy and demure but in strenuous circumstances they exhibited Veera Rasa and been the champions of life.
7. Karunya: All philanthropies done to the mankind is only because Karunya filled in us. It’s one of those rasas that forbids from being heinous not just to the mankind but to the living beings on this planet. Compassion has always raised the bar of angelic quality in human being. If we are compassionate to our fellow worker imagine the possibilities that could open up and the world will be a beautiful place to live in.
8. Shanta: Each one of us is striving for the ultimate peace; all our efforts are targeted toward the moment that gives the calmness and the relaxation of our life time. It’s a tight walk rope to be able to put Shanta Rasa in practice in midst of all the mayhem of life. This rasa helps us to connect with the mystic and the divine. The moment mystic and divine is experience we move on to the Adbhuta.
9. Adbhuta: The ultimate goal of any soul is to be unison with its purpose of life. All the lifetime our pursuit is to find the real purpose of life. This could happen only when we are connected to our inner self. The moment soul has union with the purpose we feel the divinity, the awesomeness in us and we move on to be Adbhuta. All the great leaders and champions have achieved the Abhuta results that could never be thought of nor imagined.

Every emotion every Rasa is equally important and useful for our well-being and success. It is in our hand to exercise these nine Rasas for our benefits. Think about it when was the last you had all these Nav-Rasas in perfect balance. If you are finding it difficult to answer then it’s time to become Sachet (aware) and start exercising.

To get success we need to have all the Nav- Rasas playing in a perfect balance in our life.