An end that lead to a new beginning

Many a times heard this from so many people “All well that ends well” Oh really!!! Wherever we are today one thought that just don’t leave is when is this going to end and how is it going to end? At times the whole whirlpool cycle is scary and doesn’t leave me any good. There are many sleepless nights and gloomy days that have been my pals for moments together. Have struggled myself out of the cycle but every now and then it just sucks me in.

This question kept me awake and restless. I decided to myself lets make a deal of making self resilient (huge jargon!!) Easy said than done!!!!

Started with small baby steps to get life in running gear (as if it was stopped!! – not like that) however the whole outside situation got me into a knee jerk reaction and i stopped thiking (aarrgghhh – is it really possible???) Nope- it was the downward spiral that started in the head and then started impacting everything that I did.

How did I came to terms with these testing times, staying at home, work less and clueless of how life will turn out to be!!!

I took each step cautiously. I came to understand that everything starts deep within the mental process and the mind since that is where all the games are played. Fake it till you’re made of it Or perhaps I should say that you keep telling yourself what has to be done until your mind finally gives up and starts instructing you how to be cheerful, chirpy, and normal. This motivated me to get up off my lazy back and start taking walks, albeit brief ones at first on the busy roads. The insights were humorous, and I received a few greetings and smiles in return. This excited me to take few more and few more.

When the mind became lively, it began to think positively and provided a perspective that allowed one to welcome whatever was present at the time with open arms. Acceptance boosted talks more and reconnected neural pathways for more effective relationships.

I am currently traveling in that direction. Let me break out of my rut and start relating to others with genuine enthusiasm and curiosity.

“The deeper I go into myself the more I realize that I am my own enemy.” ― Floriano Martins

This is particularly that period of time when I am down in my energies and in a lull moment of the day. The weather here is also not showing any mercy with the temperatures soaring high. Should I blame it on the outside conditions to what’s happening internally, I have been ignorant of myself. All these years it was a journey from outside. I have been driven by what the others expected me of. All these years I have driven thoughts my own inklings away in the the quest of being a norm and that is what made me loner inside.

For a long time I was ignorant to myself and that cluttered my emotional compartment, it still does. Digging deep into what shaped me, my experiences with life….. good or bad.

It is nobody’s business to envisage your life then why do we give the reigns to someone who does not even know what one is up to. Stop handing over the power of your thoughts to someone who is not even a bit of your story.  Today decide for yourself how your story unfolds and give it a purpose to be lived. However only purpose is not the true manifestation of life. Life is about being playful and being there in every role of it and being completely engrossed into it. When you are completely lost at it; its the moment of discovery. The true self emerges when you forego who you are. The journey is challenging and not a quick fix one. A lot of cleansing would be required and lot to be undone.

Start with focusing on your thoughts, identify are they yours or someone else is running through your mind. If need be journal them so as to get the clarity. Identification is one step towards finding out. Thoughts and beliefs that are dysfunctional discard; that way start cleansing yourself. Cleaning takes up lot of you but at the end of it a clean slate is always good to write on. It also means relishing what you believe and living by it. Making some tough decision on the go and sticking to them.

Announcing your intentions and not setting up expectations from others is what can be done….. Easy said than done (Its still work in progress for me!) Instead start searching for answers within.

This journey is worth taking; it has made me calmer and peaceful. It has set me free from unrealistic expectations and at the same time readied me for accepting the reality.

 

I have an issue with self doubt. I started covering it up with a notion that I need to learn more things before I get into doing something. I worked hard to gather information and avoiding the action till the last minute. Finally getting exhausted with all the resisting and pushing away act. I started working by announcing my fears, my doubt to my inner circle, acknowledging my feelings and then working through them. I learnt that fears and doubts when sounded off gives me a freedom to see through and hence slackening their grip on me. It gives an immense released feeling and lightens up the heart. Acknowledging the way i feel no longer bothers me.

There comes a freedom with accepting your feelings and emotions. It’s like a release of some sort. You learn to co-exist and be okay with its presence and not allow it to control how you act and feel anymore.

So at the end remember only you can stop yourself from damaging and destroying self. Stop being your own enemy. Give yourself the love and the worth you deserve and the universe is ready with hands-full to say AMEN!!

It’s NOW!!!

The past is gone time and life that will never be rewind. What you have lived is as lived forever. Nothing can be changed about the by-gone era what holds is the future. The very future that is un-predictive and unknown. This gives an erry feeling and the mind wants to be in contentment of what it has achieved, it has done. Future is not that holds unknown, it is what is lived in present NOW. Life is not about something happening after few years, months, days, hours or moments; it is NOW.

Are you aware of this NOW in your life? Every moment is the truth and unfold the most beautiful moment to you. Are you prepared to receive it ?

Being in the moment can happen when you are conscious about yourself. Mindfulness can work only when you allow yourself to be what you are and not force on what is required. Its challenging to control the desire to be what is required as it creates a conflict between the norms and authentic. Life is happening here with you; dance with it, sing with it and love it. No meanings to be made out of it; life itself is meaningless the whole game starts when we start giving meaning to it. The trouble is when present moment shows up opposite to what you have defined and then you start making it right as per your definition.  There is always going to be what is and what is not condition if you have a set of frame to live life. The NOW moment will get obliterated in past musings or evanish in the craving of future happiness. Keep yourself here and now and life will be a canvas to paint. To be here and now start participating in your life rather than observing it from the stands, bring yourself as a player to life and accept the rules of games. No strings attached to the winning or the losing of the game whats important is to feel, love and play the game. Even when the playground is not set the rules remain the same. Even when there is no option you still have a choice; a choice of being in the game or opting out of it. However once the choice is made there is no option.

Let the game begin the Game of Now; be in the playfullness and see how it unfolds the essence to you. Its a beautiful inkling of being here right now at this moment.  So live on to what could be your fullest  you and see how the world beholds your wishes to be what you are. The universe is here right now waiting for your to give what you ask for, all you have to do is ask at this moment.

From this moment on you have the power to change, from this moment on you have the freedom to love, from this moment on you have free will to forgive and from this moment on you have privilege to live.

Games People Play

Oh my my so much of noise and chaos in the system. The other day i was with one of my friend having a general conversation on what’s up in her day in day out life. She is working in a great organization that’s what i got the feel of! And here she goes with how people are backstabbing, backbiting, bitching and putting all their energy into putting someone down and now even she has started playing games. This conversation left me in a complete blackout. I am stirred to the core of heart  to hear that people instead of changing the surrounding are adapting to the surrounding. So much of energy put in the wrong place. And has left me appalled as in why we are so much in the showing and not in  seeing phase. Why I have to prove that i am better than the other person, why i have to put in so much of effort in doing or making things happen. Just cannot understand why I have to make someone else shorter to make myself taller. So much of energy being put in an act that just harms oneself, the kind of mental status I am when i am in the competition or so called race to prove myself what do i get out of it exhaustion, irritation and the feeling of un-settlement. My question is WHY are we doing this to ourselves. Dear Self get into an introspection and check out if you are feeling low and down and definitely not in the total inner peace ask yourself are in some funny race to prove yourself.

The trouble with a rat race is that even if you win you will still be a rat – Lily Tomlin

Howz You – FINE!!

Howz you? A question asked to me and I answered I am FINE! Hey, wait such an automated reply to this question that I didn’t even wait for a fraction of second to think and check out how am I today right now. Oh my my have I lost it, the connect with myself or just immersed into the noise outside that I have forgotten to check on myself. And here am i pondering over whats wrong or what needs to be done so as to get the ultimate question answered how to be satisfied and peaceful. The very connect with my inner core is missing and expecting the answers to show up in the external world.

svayam evätmanätmänaà
vettha tvaà puruñottama
bhüta-bhävana bhüteça
deva-deva jagat-pate

Indeed, You alone know Yourself by Your own internal potency, O Supreme
Person, origin of all, Lord of all beings, God of gods, Lord of the universe!

Chapter 10 Verse 15 Bhagwad Gita

‘Aham Brahmasmi’ you are the one who knows the answer to all the questions, still speculating and gambling on the external information to provide you the ultimate knowledge.

  Get in touch with thyself dear friend, believe me its one thing of utmost importance that should be there in your routine everyday with commitment and dedication. No time to pull out that space for yourself, check again whom are you fooling around with, its a con game you are into with yourself and the pay off is a feeling of busyness. Yes we all love being busy but for what at times this very purpose is not known and like the cute puppy of circus keeps on whirling on the circus wheel and exerting to dead. Go on a digital detox or a food detox or to an extent routine detox. Flush out the toxins that have built up due to the nonsense urge of staying connected and busy.

Today promise yourself a time out, relax and recline on the routine and ask yourself HOWZ YOU?

Just Drop it!!

What happens if I drop an egg on the floor? I know its a silly question and the answer is simple it will break into pieces. It will drop into something that cannot be rebuilt again as same egg, however will it still hold the possibility of been build into something else?
I am tossing this question to everyone, please comment, suggest or criticize it, I am doing the same I am toying with this question too….. Lets check out whether we can really build up something out of completely broken thing???

 

‘Omnia Vincit Amor’ – Love conquers all!!

Last week one of my friend called me to have a nice hearty conversation and eventually it turned to the statement that why fret when love can conquer all.

‘Omnia vincit amor’ – Love conquers all. In these modern time I feel we have lost the tenor of love. So much pressed with deadlines, competition and buzy-ness that there is no time left to stand and stare.

Yes I am taking inspiration from W.H. Davies poem Leisure, we have actually become so busy that there is hurry of action is all aspect of our life. We are here in search of quick fixes, the instant coffee that will give an instant kick. Wile dealing with challenges too we are on a lookout of solutions that will give immediate relief from the circumstances. Just check around and see how many quick fixes are there and using all sort of gimmicks to lure us to fall in the trap.

Unfortunately we try to use these quick fixes in our relationships too. While handling any relation be it spouse, friend, parents or kids we want to be heard and substantiated. And to achieve this what do we do? Many a times the interaction is titled towards individual with high power or authority. The person who is able to drill down stronger and powerful is always hear of in the relationship. However, I wonder will this thing lasts forever. The emotions like anger, fear, power, when embodied in  interaction lands up in anguish, torment and pangs that scars for the lifetime.

Love is that un-hurried feeling that needs to cooked on slow burner. Love takes time to baked up but it tastes beautiful not just to the receiver but to the giver too. Just imagine the savories of being in love with whole shebang. As in everything in the universe. When love is given its time; the vibes starts flowing in with so much smoothness that the body will react to it in positive way. There seems to be a rhythm and everything resonates to this melody. The reverberations are so strong that schema start rearranging itself to reciprocate to this feeling.

Start loving and giving time to love yourself and check the difference that it will bring in you. Resolve for today that you are going to have this one feeling in totality and will allow it to manifest in all your being. At time happiness is not just about having everything it also means not having anything and still comfortable with what you are!

If you could rewrite your life any way that you please
Would you tear out the pages of your memories?
Would you take back the pain and all the hurt we create?
Or could you be satisfied with the promise you made? – From Silent Hill (Book of Memories)

 

With all the speed – Where are you going to finish???

For last one, one and half hour I am sitting beside a person who is handling the operations for a huge company (“so-called” multi-located). This observation got me into a thought process; with all the speed – where are you going to finish??

Yes in life we all are running a race, the finish line may be a little different but the final trophy (we think it to be a trophy is the illusion that we are living into) is same; better life, bigger home, fatter bank balance, lavish holidays and probably fantastic relations. This speed gives me a notion that i am working harder, faster, efficient and productive and this whole process or working at a lightening speed is going to take me to the end line where the life is better, bigger and beautiful. Oh! so much i love this race and bigger the trophy faster the race and speedier the fatigue. Yes each one of us who are there inside the speed machine is craving to break free and we all are having this hallucination that life will be beautiful when we reach there.

That’s exactly what is happening for me life is happening at some particular moment which will arrive or I’ve to work for it to arrive; it hasn’t arrived yet.

For many of us life is happening somewhere out there in the the other world or or other time. We are all for ears abut future, for us Life will be beautiful when we reach somewhere, get something, achieve something, this or that, when and then and somewhere there. In the whole process we forgot to be here right now. Life is happening out here and we should be here not somewhere in the future. The fun, the high, the excitement is all here happening right with us in this moment but we are missing the train by being somewhere there, Stop being there and start working here.

Life is NOWHERE!! Can be interpreted in 2 ways

Life is NO WHERE!! OR Life is NOW HERE!!! which way to go is all up to you after all its your free will and free choice.

ENJOY BEING HERE OR THERE ITS YOUR CHOICE!!

De-Fog!!

The other day I had the opportunity to sit through one of the lectures that talk about creative writing. Honestly initially I was hesitant to sit through as writing has been a natural expression to me all these years and yes I have been writing a lot. What actually clicked in that session was the perspective that confusion is good to life. This very statement sent me into a thinking process and here I am pouring my thoughts. Actually yes confusion can really be good to life; all it depends is how you deal with it. Many a times we are bogged down by all the chaos that surrounds us. Looking from different perspective confusion can give lot of opportunities to explore the parent thought and come to a clear decision of whether to go ahead with that parent thought. Confusion does not necessarily mean noise but if not handled correctly can completely topple the scenarios.

Start de-fogging in your thought proce

ss. How to do that? A very simple step would be writing down the parent thought and all the apprehensions that are surrounded to it. This will make you aware of the fears, phobias and apprehensions that are either evident or implicit. Once you are done with this strike out all that are cropping up from a negative belief, experience or learning. These will not take you anywhere, whatever has happened in past is done just accept it the way it; don’t even try to forget or amend – it will suck a lot of energy. Then try and focus on the apparent apprehensions or fears that can be resolved by talking to someone or taking guidance of an experienced person – this can be anyone your mom, dad, teacher, friend, senior, superior, etc… Based on the conversation now write down how do you feel about the discussed apprehension and prepare a action plan to pacify yourself; in a way try to imagine the feelings if the apprehensions are sorted out. Once the sorting is done go ahead with the most suitable or apt choice that you feel will help you achieve the goal.

So go ahead and de-fog yourself for a better clarity and a great vision.  

Discipline

Happy and Prosperous New Year!

First of apologies for being absent from here for a quite a long time.

Why discipline and that too at the very start of the year. Well all of you must have written great resolutions on all possible fancy diaries and then WHAT NEXT!! Have you started implementing it. Well this very experience of mine inspired me to write about it today. I am no different from the world so I too have a great resolution for this year. This year I am going to LIVE!!! Phew!!!!!!!! Quiet a challenging one because in day in day out we are lead by to-do list and not by the goals. The real conflict comes when to-do list is not aligned with the goals.Let me make it simple for you, what is a goal – dream with a deadline! Now if you have a deadline then you need to take action on it. Taking action calls for doing and doing is discipline.

This word is very small but has a lot of connotation to it. A little deeper thought and you’ll realize that discipline is not just about meeting deadlines. Discipline is about being aware of what it takes for it to get done. When every action of yours is in line with your goal you are disciplined. It is not just restricted to your action but extends to your words too. I will do it is a commitment given not to others but to yourself even if it is not spelled out loud it will be there in your space. Why only words, your thoughts are the first step of action and are you disciplined enough that your thoughts are in-line with your vision of tomorrow. There is an Italian proverb that Between saying and doing, many a pair of shoes is worn out. Discipline is that small act that you would do every second, every inch of it, in fact discipline should be way of life and not a way in life. Success comes to only those who desire but as said by Frank Herbert – “Seek freedom and become captive of your desires, seek discipline and find your liberty” Discipline liberates you from unwanted thoughts and actions and always focuses you on your goals. Ultimately goals achieved is success attained.

So Happy Resolving successful year ahead!

“CIAO”